SPAM

this is the list of spam that was waiting for me in the spam folder in my gmail account today. my favourites are from Mima Oneal and Victor Frye. Especially Victor.

Werner Ola - Good stuff
Aeolus Copley - Re: good 8275
Jordan Thayer - New Home Lloan lApproval
Mima Oneal - grandmother diplomat
so - Re: much
Danny Cote - christmas are coming!
Pam Coffey - hi rhythm
Brady - show your sweet heart how much you care Armand
Jennifer Hurst - wind
Erin Lunsford - Want to be a hero in a bed? orderid:collision
Nanny Pickett - prejudiced
Meade & Trent Doherty - Meade & Trent Doherty is back and I got one of these
Wallace May - Home Improlvement Approvlal
first - Re: Sacked
Victor Frye - vagina earache
Nephele Malloy - Re: good 456

A STORY IN JUST SIX WORDS

wired magazine has asked 33 writers to write 6-word science fiction stories. (arthur c. clarke cheated - his has 10 words).

here are ten of my own efforts:

1. the trees cried one last time.
2. fun is outlawed. let's leave town.
3. feet... too... sore. can't... go... on...
4. smoking is good for your cancer.
5. i spread my wings and plummet.
6. the sky is blue. for now.
7. computer told me to write this.
8. the house collapsed. a homeless ghost.
9. time will soon go backwards again.
10. saddam wakes. sits up. rubs eyes.

ok, those are my spur of the moment efforts. leave your stories in the comments, or anywhere else you can think of.

congratulations to my very dear friends emily and richard on their engagement. i hope you continue to share many wonderful holidays together!

in other news, the countdown continues, with less than a week to go until our departure. we both only have one day of work left (j's is tomorrow, mine is monday), then the serious pre-trip preparations can begin.

i read a really good joke the other day that i wanted to share with the world, but i can't for the life of me remeber it. oh well. next time. but while i'm on the subject, i'd just like to say how much i object to all the sex on computers these days. i mean, it's uncomfortable and i keep falling off.

the music in my brain at the moment is mainly by blondie, which can only be a good thing.

the birthday season

it was my brother's birthday the other day - he turned 28. it's my mum's birthday next week, then a few of my cousin's add another year to their respective ages. my 30th birthday is less than a month away, and the rest of november is filled with the celebrations of numerous friends and family members. and just when you think it's safe to venture out again, my baby brother (i say 'baby' - he's turning 23 and has a 4 month old baby himself) goes and has a december birthday. sneaky little blighter.

in one week and one day, we will be boarding a plane a jetting ove to the midst of these celebrations. the excitment is building...

DAN FIC

i'm not generally speaking a huge fan of fan-fics, but i thought i'd share this with you.

also, did anyone see this episode of eastenders?

This, is an ex-budgie.
On Friday 12th July 2002, the BBC once again proved that they are, indeed, the Monty Python channel. A new version of Monty Python's famous Parrot sketch was woven into Eastenders", the BBC's award winning soap. Jim Branning, a leading character in the programme, is tasked by his wife to clean out the bird cage belonging to their pet budgie. Jim, never the sharpest tool in the box, decides to use the vacuum cleaner pipe; a reasonable idea except when the budgie is still in the cage. The inevitable happens and seconds later the bird has vanished from its perch and into the pipe.Panicking, Jim realises that he must replace the bird or explain to the wife. Numerous phone calls to pet shops later, he successfully locates a seller with the right bird and the right plumage. With the corpse of the last bird securely packaged in a shoe box, he makes his way to the pet shop and becomes an unwitting victim to the Monty Python loving shop assistants. Read the text below and/or download it as a 155k WAV

Shop Assistant 1 (S1)
Shop Assistant 2 (S2)
Jim Branning (JB)

S1: Are you sure it's dead?
JB: Eh?
S1: It might be resting.
JB: It's dead mate. Look at it!
S1:Maybe it's just stunned?
JB: Stunned? It's as stiff as a board.
S1: Norweigan blues you see, they prefer kipping on their backs.
JB: No 'e ain't kipping, mate. 'e's brown bread.
S1: See if you can wake him.
S2: Wakey, wakey! [Shakes box] There he moved!
JB: You moved the box!
S2: No I didn't!
JB: Are you having me on or what?
S1: This budgie is no more. He has ceased to be. He has expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. [Pause]
S2: This, is an ex-budgie.