DAN FIC

i'm not generally speaking a huge fan of fan-fics, but i thought i'd share this with you.

also, did anyone see this episode of eastenders?

This, is an ex-budgie.
On Friday 12th July 2002, the BBC once again proved that they are, indeed, the Monty Python channel. A new version of Monty Python's famous Parrot sketch was woven into Eastenders", the BBC's award winning soap. Jim Branning, a leading character in the programme, is tasked by his wife to clean out the bird cage belonging to their pet budgie. Jim, never the sharpest tool in the box, decides to use the vacuum cleaner pipe; a reasonable idea except when the budgie is still in the cage. The inevitable happens and seconds later the bird has vanished from its perch and into the pipe.Panicking, Jim realises that he must replace the bird or explain to the wife. Numerous phone calls to pet shops later, he successfully locates a seller with the right bird and the right plumage. With the corpse of the last bird securely packaged in a shoe box, he makes his way to the pet shop and becomes an unwitting victim to the Monty Python loving shop assistants. Read the text below and/or download it as a 155k WAV

Shop Assistant 1 (S1)
Shop Assistant 2 (S2)
Jim Branning (JB)

S1: Are you sure it's dead?
JB: Eh?
S1: It might be resting.
JB: It's dead mate. Look at it!
S1:Maybe it's just stunned?
JB: Stunned? It's as stiff as a board.
S1: Norweigan blues you see, they prefer kipping on their backs.
JB: No 'e ain't kipping, mate. 'e's brown bread.
S1: See if you can wake him.
S2: Wakey, wakey! [Shakes box] There he moved!
JB: You moved the box!
S2: No I didn't!
JB: Are you having me on or what?
S1: This budgie is no more. He has ceased to be. He has expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. [Pause]
S2: This, is an ex-budgie.